Monday, September 6, 2010

It's a struggle!

I can honestly say that struggle is not a word I use very often.  My son, however, loves to point out whenever I am, in fact, struggling.  Whether it is with the computer or straining to reach something that he can grab without so much as rising onto his toes, he's right there with the raised eyebrow and the wry tone in his voice saying "Strugglin'?"  So where is he now?  Not that I need confirmation.  I am all too well aware that I am struggling.  I'm long past our submission deadline and I'm about to blow the extension.  

The truth is that I have been struggling with writing all summer.  I'm not exactly sure why.  It is probably because everything I have already written needs revision which isn't nearly as much fun as the initial crafting.  I'm still struggling with the agent vs editor submission dilemma and, of course, trying to choose the right ones. If I am really honest I can admit that I am struggling to accept that I don't have anything that is quite ready to be sent out.  A year ago, I thought I had three straight to the bookshelf slamdunks.  A year of research and working with my writers group has taught me otherwise*.  A good story and a good, marketable story are two different things.  But it is hard to change your vision, rethink the rhyme and the reason, to make the stories better.  And so, I struggle.  I procrastinate and I open document after document without any clear purpose and I get frustrated.  And I accomplish nothing.  And, as Julie Andrews sang in The Sound of Music, "Nothing comes from nothing, nothing ever could..."

Maybe I should call Julie - she wrote some terrific children's books;  The Last of the Really Great Whangdoodles being an all time favorite in our house.  Of course, she'd probably have me singing about raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens and, THAT, would really be a struggle!

*Ed Note:  My writers group has been incredibly helpful, encouraging and spot on with their critiques.  My only complaint is that they are honest brokers of the truth and that can be very humbling.

5 comments:

  1. Alison, you sound discouraged. Hang in there my friend. I still believe in you and your talent. Longer days and less work would give you more energy to get those creative juices flowing. Good luck!

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