The F Word

No, not that one.  F is for Feedback.  Feeling flush (before I got our tax bill), I paid to have Bring Your Tools to School edited by an agent that freelances on the side.  The fee was actually quite reasonable and the fantasy was that she'd read it and beg to publish it.  It's called a fantasy for a reason. 

On the plus side, she said my writing was strong, clean and clear and that I captured the emotion that I was striving for.  I read those two sentences frequently.  The rest of the four paragraphs started with "That being said..."  Not my favorite lead in.  She made a lot of excellent points and suggested that what I had written was a terrific start and now needs layers to develop the main character and a couple of the supporting characters.   She asked questions that will help me frame my changes and made suggestions that indicate she read the text thoughtfully.  It was well worth the money.

And I hate it!  My writer's group thinks it is an amazing critique.  They are so excited for me because now I know exactly what I need to do to take my story to the next level.  It's a perfect road map for revision.  Did I mention that I hate it?

Here's why (if you are still reading and pretending to care): The story started as a way to convey a lesson I created when I taught gifted and talented third through sixth graders.  Students were given a tool kit to help empower them to be active, risk taking learners.  In my mind, the main character is the tool kit.  The students in the story are necessary, but secondary.  I picture this, at least in part, as a story that teachers will read to the class and use the original lesson in some way.  Developing all these characters, and tension between them, blah, blah, blah diminishes the role of the tool kit in the story.  That worries me.  This started as a picture book, but felt incomplete so I added to it and now see it as an early chapter book with illustrations like a Nate the Great book.

But I will read the books that the agent recommended would be good models and I will spend some time with my characters and see if I can develop them in ways that enhance the main idea of learning and the classroom dynamic.  And hopefully, one day, I'll be posting that the story is so much better as a result and I can't believe I ever thought it was done.

And maybe I won't hate it.